I have come to the end of many things, in order that God may usher in a new beginning. Have I a clue what that will be? To tell the truth, I have never felt more lost than now.
For centuries man has tried to fill the place of God. Mythology is full of stories (Promethean stealing the fire brand comes to mind) that exalt the wisdom of men above the knowledge and plans of God. Modern man has also taken up the cry, “You must fight for your own destiny! Only you know what can bring you ultimate happiness! God doesn’t know what is best for you!”
Ashamed, I find myself echoing their cries.
This time at home has been one of trial, mystery, frustration and confusion. What will this next step in life be? I ran from God yet still He has found me. As before, He only asks one question, “Will you trust Me?”
He only asks for everything.
The choice lies before me now, as it has always. Will I choose to trust Him and give up all my hopes, dreams, and plans to wait on Him? Or will I abandon all that I have learned and pursue my own path to personal happiness?
He asks me to wait. To give up this restlessness I feel in my soul, and take up the mantel of those who trust in Him.
Six months ago, I wrote in my journal: “His sovereignty cries at me from this land (Israel), begging me not to make the same mistakes as the Israelites, and take my life into my own hands. So instead, I am going to entrust my life to you, O Lord, knowing that You will be faithful to do what is good. I rejoice to think that all things are at Your disposal and it delights me to leave them there. I am fully pleased with Your will, whatever it is, and cheerfully give my life to the keeping of Your wise and capable hands”.
So many lessons are simply reminders.
I am convinced that there is nothing more difficult than waiting with contentment. It acknowledges that surrender to God is the only option, for it is a confession that we cannot see ahead and do not know the way. Therefore, it is my desire above all else to be the one that waits with “breathless expectation” for the life God has prepared in advance for those who love Him!
“Those who wait for God are pilgrim souls that have no tie that will hold them when the definite command is issued; no prejudices that will paralyze their effort when in some strange coming of the light they are commanded to take a pathway entirely different to that which was theirs before; having no interests either temporal or eternal, either material or mental or spiritual, that will conflict with the will of God when that will is made known”
For now, I wait. Learning "whatever state I am in, to be content" (Phil 4:11).
"May the God of peace make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight" (Heb 13:20-21)
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