Run

I want to see Jesus. Every day, in every step.

"I desire nothing besides You.."

My heart lurches, stumbles, and falls. Everything within me cries, "Run!! Run away from this pain, this confusion, this doubt. Run and run and run till the wind dries your tears and the silence stills your fears. Run away from smiles that mock your tears. Run and drown, and make not a sound".

So I run. With all my heart I run, as far away as I can go. A voice calls and beckons me on. "Run!" it cries. "Run and run and run, straight into My arms. Run until My love dries your tears and My peace stills your fears. Run to My smiles that wipe away your tears. Run and drown, in the blood of the Lamb that made not a sound".

As I sob into His arms, I hear Him say, "Dear one, can you not see? It was my grace that made you run."

Startled, I realize. It was all a gift. "Father, that evil, you meant it for good?"
"Everything is good, my dear child, because it's from ME".

The tree of the knowledge of good and evil was never meant for me. Who am I to judge the difference?
I feel like a child, humbled and confused. "God, which one is evil, and which is good?"

"All from My hand, that is what is good" He says with a smile.

So oftentimes I think that beauty is only in the end. I watch the flowers fade and die, thinking that beauty has ended. But in reality, it has just begun.

I watch my walking, tripping and falling and think "Oh for the day, when my walk is soon done. When I can look in His face, and know we have won".

But then I know I wouldn't trade it for a moment. For there is so much beauty in this process, this journey of mine.

I don't have enough. Not enough time or energy or strength or love. But I have Him, and He is enough.

I see Him in the garden, drops of blood running down His face. Crying to His Father, "I don't want to do this!" Knowing what it would mean. Yet in the midst of His cries, He died, "Not my will but Yours be done".

His will is so much better. So in awe I stand, in wonder at His love, overwhelmed by His grace. "His mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness"